Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
