school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
