I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize