i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They took my balls.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
