You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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