I skipped work to stalk him.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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