He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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