dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
