Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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