first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
