He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
