I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize