I look better un-naked...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
