Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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