Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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