spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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