Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
