32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
