Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
