Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
