If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Life is so much better after having sex.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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