the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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