I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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