So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you mean i was at the winter classic?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
