the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
