awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
