why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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