We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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