Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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