So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
