Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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