Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
