I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
