He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
