@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
