Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
