Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My ass is underappreciated
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
