I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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