I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
don't judge my taste in strippers
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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