There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
