I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
