Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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