For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
