i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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