he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
