Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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