i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
