Your dad touched me again.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
