What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
