Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
