Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
