So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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