i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
