I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
