I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
