VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
